Hello hello.
I am in such an amazing mood right now that I just HAD to write a blog post and SHARE. For everyone who’s reading this right now, I’m sending out positive telepathic vibes TO YOU.
Anyway, back to the beginning. My day started out horribly. I hadn’t been able to sleep the entire night, so I was really moody when I dragged myself out of bed at six in the morning to go swimming. After that, once I got home, I had this little tiff with mom because of me being frustrated. The issue wasn’t that she was nagging, because nagging I can take. The issue was that I’d told her that I hadn’t slept, and I was in a crappy mood, so PLEASE DON’T NAG TODAY. Not using those exact words, obviously.
Source: http://britedarkness.tumblr.com/
Despite my warnings, there are very few people who actually listen and then have to bear the brunt.
The entire day went by sluggish and slow, until now.
My college buddy just called me up and I’m going to be meeting him up tomorrow morning. YAY! I haven’t seen him in ages, and honestly, he was the first friend I made in college. That man is extremely sweet and meeting him always puts me in the most amazing of moods for at least a week. When we used to be neighbours, I don’t there was a single day that I didn’t meet him. For three whole years, we were completely inseparable.
The only awkward part, and this may only be in my head, is that I think I consider him more a best friend, than he considers me to be for him. Despite spending so much time together, we haven’t really ever talked about our feelings or whatever. I’m not the sort of person to lays down all my emotions on a platter and serve’s them up to be rejected. Be there, done that. It’s a phobia, yes, but I am just so tired of being hurt that ignorance just seems so much more convenient.
Besides all that, the day after, my boyfriend is coming back into town so I’m going to be meeting him for breakfast. He has a few hours before he has to head home. He’s an amazing guy and I don’t think that I could have ever asked for anyone better to stand by my side… But he’s so clingy! As much as I care for him, sometimes I can’t help but feel so suffocated by the constant text messages and phone calls. There have been so many times, I’ve just wanted to smash my phone against the wall and say, “You know what? I don’t have a phone anymore. Sorry.” Despite all that, he has his good qualities and I think they over ride all the negatives.
What I love about this blog is that I can actually speak my mind. The bad, and the good. I can let it all out, without being judged or thought of as a gossip. I hate talking about people to other people. There have been so many times that I’d say a particular thing that it would get so misconstrued in the process of getting spread to every second person I know.
Anyway, we’ll probably hang out for a bit, go bowling maybe and then later that same day, there’s a birthday party that I have to attend.
Now here’s the tricky part. Though my parents absolutely adore that friend of mine, they aren’t so chilled out about me staying out the entire night, and that too at a party. The options I have here are that I can either ask my mom and dad to pick me up from the party at 12-ish or I can just not go. I don’t have to go, since I already wished her and hung out with her on the day itself but on the other hand, I have been out in a really really long time and I’d really like to cut loose for just one night.
I might just be over reacted since I haven’t even asked them yet, but I’m pretty sure they’re not going to be okay with it. I’ve known them for 20 years now, I think I know when they’re gonna say yes and when they’re gonna say no.
All in all, I’m still jumping with joy at having something to do for the next two days.
Giddy.
E.K.
Shades of Elysia 
Hi Elysia,
I know I’m a stranger to you, a mere internet lurker. However, I have a thought to share, if you don’t mind…I hope I do not offend you in any way. This is merely from my own experience with someone and this thought I’m about to share may or may not be a fit for you and your life. I may be way off, but I’ll share in case you might find it helpful. You can delete my comment if you wish, I’ll understand, but here’s my thought:
I had a boyfriend when I was in high school that I thought was too clingy. I got so annoyed by it, and I couldn’t shake how much it irritated me. But I also thought to myself that this guy is a sweet and kind dude. But later after we were over and now years later looking back on it (I’m 24 now), I see that I was never in love with him. If I was, his clinginess wouldn’t have been noticed. I would have enjoyed it, if I was in love. He may have been in love with me, but I have no idea for certain. However, looking back, I was not in love with him. If I were, I would have welcomed his clinginess with open arms.
I’m married now to an amazing guy. I can tell I’m in love with him because I am the clingy one. 🙂 I can’t get enough of him, and funny thing is, we not only live together of course, but we also work together at the same office. & I still miss him if he’s gone for even just 15 minutes at a time. I just don’t feel whole when he isn’t at least in the same building with me…
It’s love. ❤
I completely understand what you’re trying to say and I don’t take any offence by it all. I know I don’t love my boyfriend and I know that. The issue is that HE does love me and I’m just too chicken to go breaking his heart without any reason what so ever besides the fact that he’s “clingy” or whatever.
I used to be in love like that (the way that you are now) but that just unraveled horribly, which is why I’m all the more scared of breaking someones heart because I know how shitty it ends up making you feel.